Talking to Freya at PCon

At Pantheacon, I went to a ritual for Freya. I had been sitting with a number of people in the Pandemos hospitality suite after a long and extremely (read: excessively) social weekend. After trying, unsuccessfully, to leave the suite several times, losing my badge, my shoes, my room key, my whatever, or being stopped just in the nick of time by the arrival of more guests, I turned to the people who were with us and said, “We are going to go support other Polytheists at the con. Why don’t you join us?” The ritual was beautiful. Rather than focusing on altar service, there was much in the way of ritual drama, singing, and of course, Freya riding her priestesses. I wanted very much to interact with Freya, primarily out of curiosity, partly because people I knew were priestessing (Pandemos has a lot of overlap with the Bay Area Norse community), and a little bit because I had gotten to do literally nothing else in the program that Pandemos didn’t have its name on. The following conversation bears relating:

I approached to Freya after being waved over, and she took my hands.

Freya: Hello my child… ah, but you are not my child. You belong to Hermes.

Me: … [Psychically: Belong to?]

Freya: Not that a person can be property, or belong to another person. He’s claimed you.

Me: … [Psychically: No.]

Freya: Marked you.

Me: … [Psychically: … Nnno.]

Freya: That *is* what you wanted, wasn’t it?

Me: …? [Psychically: You’ve met me, right?]

Freya: What your heart wanted?

Me:[Psychically: let me help you out here] I love him. [Psychically: That’s how that works. I have feelings, and I act on them. The feelings I have are my responsibility. The feelings he has are his responsibility] If I have a concern, it is perhaps losing myself in the intensity of that love.

Freya: (her face lights up with understanding) Ahh. Then the key is to love and respect yourself. If you do that, he’ll follow suit.

First of all, mad props to the priestess who was carrying her. Yes. The goddess was literally responding to the astral thoughts out loud. Later, Freya followed up with me on that conversation, astrally.

Freya: I’m really amused that you don’t think that Hermes has claimed you.

Me: What you are sensing is his energy inside my aura. That… that is what happens when you fuck a deity. Their energy winds up in your aura. Over and over and over again.

Freya: But the energy has a message to it. It’s like a sign. It clearly says, ‘mine.’

Me: No, my dear, it says not yours. I am like a pile of Tostitos, covered in Nacho.

Freya: Nacho?

Me: Yes. Cheese that isn’t yours. Nacho cheese. But that’s not all Hermes’s doing. Mostly, it’s my doing, actually. If he has taken my ‘Beware of Dog’ sign and empowered it with his divine essence, I will most certainly not complain.

To be clear, though, I am dedicated to Hermes. I am very committed to that relationship. What really interests me is the difference in perspective. Whereas I seem to think of dedication as my choice and responsibility, a culmination of my passions, and something done because of how I feel, Freya’s perspective seems to place me in the passive role, the object of affection rather than the one having the affection, the one being loved, rather than the one doing the loving, Hermes as my patron, rather than me as his… whatever the hell I am. Person. Interested in his well-being.

Not sure what to make of that.

Edit: Upon reflection? For me at least, having passions about someone else is a lot less scary than receiving the passion of someone else. That might explain the themes in those conversations. 

18 comments

  1. EmberVoices

    ?? You may be parsing this differently than Freyja intends. Which is to say, I think you’re making a semantic distinction She is not, that Cara and I would not.

    You say yourself, “I am dedicated to Hermes.”

    Yes. Exactly. You have an indelible connection with Hermes. It shows. It shows to gods. It shows to humans who know what to look for. The taste of Him is about you, so those who meet you don’t just meet you, they meet the part of Him you carry with you all the time.

    What more than this would be required for you to be any more His than you are?

    -E-

    • EmberVoices

      > Freya’s perspective seems to place me in the passive role, the object of affection rather than the one having the affection, the one being loved, rather than the one doing the loving, Hermes as my patron, rather than me as his… whatever the hell I am. Person. Interested in his well-being.

      *Headtilt* If you are His priestess then you are HIS priestess… yes?

      -E-

    • Thenea

      Again, I think it boils down to thinking of myself as active rather than passive. To me, the distinction is important. When I think about being “his” I think of this as a state of being wherein he decides what I do and what is done with me. If a car belongs to me, I am within my rights to strip off its paint. If a cat belongs to me, I’m within my rights to neuter or spay it. Hermes does not make these sorts of decisions for me. I do not think he considers himself entitled to do so. If he wants something, he asks, and often I oblige. If he wants something, the answer can be no, and we haggle. The haggling is actually a really important part of our relationship. Bid and counter-bid are as much a part of our intimacy as sex is. To my way of thinking, I belong to myself. If I didn’t, I’d have nothing left to give him. And yeah, the distinction might be semantic… but I often occupy purely semantic spaces.

      • EmberVoices

        Granted, but that does obscure what anyone else might mean by the same words. I don’t think anyone is suggesting you’re His servant or an object or anything like that.

        Certainly Freyja, Cara, and I all understand how much active work goes into being a priestess for any divinity!

      • Thenea

        For true. Curiously –and you, of all people, probably understand this extremely well — the exact words used, and the ways in which people who are not you, Cara or Freya interpret them, especially the way less experienced practitioners might misunderstand them, is a thing that I get agitated and worried about.

      • EmberVoices

        Sure. I try to be as clear as I can and define any terms I am using for that very reason. 🙂

        And in an age where people DO parse Belonging with and/or to a God as implying subservience rather than simply service, or even, in some cases, a sense of slavery (preferably in the D/s sense rather than the historical sense…) it’s very important that we unpack such terms.

        But so much of how words get used when the Gods are directly involved requires unpacking in directions language alone can’t take us, so we also have to be sort of flexible if we really want to understand what They are saying.

        Frustrating, that. *sigh*

      • Angela

        This. ThisThisThis. I don’t think we have words in English for belonging to someone or something without being their property. I’ve had trouble trying to understand the nature of certain relationships because of a need to turn over and understand the details of said relationship. That is a good explanation.

      • EmberVoices

        Ahh, that may be. Odin’s devotees are more careful for similar reasons. Not that Freyja’s devotees can afford to be cavalier, but overall She can be trusted to adhere more closely to the spirit of intent than screw around with the words – unless She has a damned good reason to be twisting things, which isn’t generally going to be the case with anyone She considers Hers… if that makes sense.

      • Thenea

        Yes, there are ways in which working with Hermes can be similar to working with Odin. At least in the, “yes, you will be held to any possible interpretation of your statement, and if it could be construed as a promise based on some lawyer’s interpretation you may be held to it if that is what the situation requires… or not. Possibly not. WHO KNOWS?”

      • EmberVoices

        Yeeeaaaaaaah. Which is why I’m very careful of wording when I’m making actual vows or promises, and very clear that casual conversation is not equivalent.

        But then, I was effectively raised to play those kinds of semantic games by my Dad, so… yeah.

  2. Cara Freyasdaughter

    Eventually I wil figure out who to reply via wordpress after two replies in a given mini-thread, but today is not that day. In any event, yes, I think that the way people work closely with Odin and/or Hermes is different than the way those of us work with Freya or Freyr. The Vanir–not so much about the sematics, let me tell you.

  3. Jen

    Curious you post this (today) I’ve been pondering this too, alongside the comment I posted on another article of your’s 🙂

    Being engaged (HOLY GOOD SHEEP.) and going with the flow of the new petals of /our/ relationship, I’ve been pondering personal sovereignty while equally cherishing -Belong with- Loki. Being true to self, and equally to him. Easier said than done truly lol My moon is in Pisces, 6th house with Saturn and I have a tendency of giving a lot, even up myself especially in relationships. But it’s a reason why I’ve pondered before the big ceremony, to do a self marriage ceremony of my own, that I may be true to myself, while still beholding dear deep relationship with him. I feel he approves a bit, although my mind is roaming a bit in fear….ack.

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