Best Soliloquy Delivered By A Deity In Recent Memory

Posted by


I have watched my temples burned and razed, the blood of my priests soaked up by the ground, and my people turned to an alien god!


Because the likes of you could not contain their desires and had no understanding of strategy.  You mewling proktos! I will not watch as you make the race of gods look like a race of children and fools. Make no excuses for yourself any longer, nor open your mouth to blaspheme against your own kind through your disgusting cowardice!

Speak in front of me again and I will gut you from one side to clear to the other like a fish.


    1. 🙂 I presume you would not be laughing if it had been *you* he chewed out. I also laughed. And cheered a little. It was unclear who he was chewing out, exactly, but I did sorta catch what they were being chewed out *for*

  1. Yep – He and many others. But what comes around, goes around. Wish we knew who the recipient was!

    1. Not included because it is another deity.

      In my experience, the easiest way to stir Ares up into a blind rage is to be a person of immense power, and to use that power against a weak and vulnerable person outside of the context of the battle field. Like, it is one thing for a stronger opponent to defeat a weaker one when they are both armed. But domestic abuse, or rape, or shooting an unarmed person, or being a deity and bullying a mortal into agreeing to something which is completely against their best interests because fuck you that’s why — GRRR! ARES SMASH!

      His point, very validly made, is that if people had thought that the gods were good enough, back in the day, the humans would have endured the torture and persecution, had their martyr-saints, and moved forward from it, like Judaism did during the many times when Jews were persecuted, killed, tortured or jailed for their faith. People would have eventually accepted that being a Greek Polytheist was an ethnic thing, made them a group of second-class citizens, ghettoized them, and left them alone. There was a war for the hearts of the people, and the Greek gods lost it. So yeah, when some young and foolish deity goes on about how he can do whatever to a mortal because he’s a god, Ares kinda flips his shit.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s